Everybody’s talkin’ these days about homophobia, xenophobia, racism, sexis – wait a minute….WHAT’S WRONG WITH BEING SEXIST?
Last I checked, all females are not princesses. They’re not all ” badasses “. In fact, many of them are not even nice people. Hell, most chicks are total assholes! Why is the mere thought of disrespecting them enough to bring some girls into a fever-pitched meltdown? Did you know that 71% of all females are born with TAILS? That’s right. They are born with tails on the inside of their bodies and most are not detected by doctors. That means some women are actually part ANIMAL. Some of them even grow their tails out enough to look like a little ” nubbin “. It might look cute, but that’s a tail they have. And that means Satanic. You’ve seen pictures of the devil, right? Yep, that’s a tail you see in those pics.
The late, great Sean Connery once said, ” I don’t think there is anything particularly wrong about hitting a woman, although I don’t recommend doing it in the same way that you’d hit a man “. What he meant by that is OPEN-PALMED. We here at KMBP would prefer BACK-HANDED, but we pretty much agree with the first and best Bond.
There’s a little-known but very effective song about women that was written many moons ago, and it’s sung like a soccer hooligan drinking song. Here are the lyrics :
” MEN! MEN! MEN! MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN! MEN ARE BIGGER! MEN ARE STRONGER! MEN ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN!! ”
It’s been scientifically proven that if you chant this simple tune every single morning looking into the bathroom mirror and flexing your muscles, you will be impervious to any Social Justice Warrior attacks and accusations….and you will appear as extremely virile to all females, regardless of age, color, creed, or hair color ( except for blue ).