KMBP SEASON 5 EPISODE 1
What’s hollow full of lies and leaves you feeling empty inside?
No, not this podcast, it’s fortune cookies!
Looking for some direction and hope? Look no further, fortune cookie is here, chaulk full of ancient wisdom, flavour, and your lucky numbers, all is right in the world once you Crack open one of these tasty treats.
Fortune cookies, at a Chinese restaurant near yooo! How you coke taste!!?
And by “The cleaning lady” starring Alexandria ocasia-cortez premiering this week on fox!
KMBP BACK N’ FORTH :
They say ” less is more”
They also say…
Men are women!
Silence is violence
My butts been wiped
Trust the science
Don’t do your own research
There are at least 27 genders!
Children are sexual beings too!
You will own nothing and like it
You’re gonna eat bugs instead of meat!
Men can get pregnant, too!
Math is racist!
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KMBP Local News – They keep raising the price on all of the Thai food – those gooks are gettin’ GREEDY and deleting their lunch specials!
Celebrity news beat: sexy singer lizzo celebrates her new record… weighing 308lbs! Good job ! Keep up the blood pressure!
The letters of delta and omicron can be arranged to construct the phrase “media control” but this is just another silly coincidence. Like how they are Greek numerals, delta is four and omicron fifteen. They add up to nineteen and that is just fun with numbers. But who’s counting.
White House brief:
This week President brandon referred to the year as “2020” nice try you twat. Try checking that fucking tone when you talk to me.
Brandon is the go to guy when concerns turn to the new variant, what’s it called again?
(Que biden saying OMNICRON)
He is a certified FAGGOT I can not take the talking down to me attitude when he cant get the words right.
Perez. Joe buy din fooled into saying the phrase “let’s go Brandon ” … holy shit this guy is cool as fuck!
KMBP MAIN STORIES :
- Superman is now gay and…..he was taken hostage for 8 months and RAPED! This is the progressive SJW LGBTQ+++ agenda taking revenge against the ultimate symbol of American White Male privilege.
- Patton Oswalt doubles down on being a troll-like two-faced pussy bitch of a “ man “ by taking a selfie with Dave Chappelle and then APOLOGIZING to the tranny SJWs like a total faggot worm.
- What’s the deal with hotel bathrooms nowadays?? I haven’t seen a single fan in a hotel latrine in over a decade. I know it’s just to keep people from smoking in the rooms, but what if you have diarrhea and you have a chick in the room with you?
- The time Al ran an entire Pizza Hut franchise into the ground.
- “ RENTERS “ should NOT be allowed to vote. I’ve been saying this for years – if you don’t have any skin in the game, why should you have any say in how the game is played??
- John went to Florida for Christmas. What could have POSSIBLY went wrong??
Ye olde movie of the week:
Basically swingers 2. In this cult hit vince Vaughn and his co-star “fat” join the mob. Not the woke mob of 2020 but the classic Italian mob.
Vince Vaughn gives his most cringe worthy performance in this movie by pushing the buttons of everyone he comes by and does everything he can to get himself and his co-star “fat” whacked.
Weekly Segment Al hates
Kevin spacey and his hommo brother.
And fuck every movie they have been in. Theatre actors are weird and so are you.
Did you know…. All of the actors Shakespearian Shows were DUDES? that’s right, and in ” romeo and juliet ” there was ACTUAL PENETRATION! (Not gay)
“ What’s In The Bag? “