KMBP “ PROVE YOUR WORTH!! “ Kiss My Boner Podcast Season 5, Episode 8
ALL NEW KMBP GAME :
Welcome to our new KMBP game show called “ PROVE YOUR WORTH “ in which nominated celebrities are mixed with every-day normal people, and pitted against each other in a bloodbath, no-prisoners, zero-survivors, to-the-death-game to ultimately PROVE THEIR WORTH as American citizens and citizens of the world. Winners of the game get the ultimate prize of being able to survive and live another day as a human being – and losers of the game are simply……thrown into a wood-chipper! Let’s meet our contestants, shall we?
- Patricia Arquette – formally relevant actress, huge bouncy & juicy boobs, aging ex-sex symbol, and dumb author of moronic tweets….can she PROVE HER WORTH?
- AOC Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez – talentless affirmative action hire, ugly fish-eyed freak, horse-toothed jackass, and stupid vapid retarded whore with garbage opinions….can she PROVE HER WORTH?
- Joy Behar – loud-mouthed panelist and star of “ The View “ TV show, unfunny aging cunt, owner of one of the most annoying voices known to womankind….can she PROVE HER WORTH?
- Joe Biden – current President of The United States of America, political barnacle, kid-touching hair-sniffing pedophile, walking corpse….can he PROVE HIS WORTH?
- Liam Gallagher – legendary singer of the english rock band Oasis, musical love child of John Lennon and Johnny Rotten, annoying drunk, and the reason why Oasis broke up….can he PROVE HIS WORTH?
- Snoop Dogg – Tall weird-looking rapping pothead, friend of Martha Stewart, the new owner of Death Row Records, decided to call himself “ Snoop Lion “ for a few minutes after he hit a powerful bong hit…can he PROVE HIS WORTH?
- The chick who made my cheesesteak at the 8 Mile location of Lefty’s Cheesesteaks – she was very nice, looked Mexican or something non-white, provided fast service, forgot my grilled onions even though I reminded her to include them…can she PROVE HER WORTH?
- My brother, Alan – he’s my younger bigger brother, he can cook a mean burger and steak, he’s fun to drink with, he loves muscle cars and sometimes watches sports….can he PROVE HIS WORTH?
- Bill Gates – Fake computer whizkid grown into a vaccine-pushing authoritarian, close personal friend of dead creep Jeffrey Epstien, the man who once said “ No one will want to listen to music on their phone “….can he PROVE HIS WORTH?
- My Wife – she loves me, she has sex with me all of the time, she has big boobs, but she throws her used food containers with leftover food inside into the recycling bin when I told her not to do that…can she possibly defend this action and PROVE HER WORTH?
SHOUT OUT TO ALL OF THE NEW SUBSCRIBERS AND WELCOME TO KMBP, where all of your dreams are flushed down the toilet! Big shout out to David Brown from the UK, and let me show off my english accent….malcolm mclaren / harry potter
MORE PROOF WE ARE IN CLOWN WORLD :
If you go to the official White House Instagram account, pick ANY, and I mean any, post and immediately go to the comments…..tell me right now what you notice about these comments. I’ll wait.
BIG HUMONGOUS FAT CUNT TRIES TO CONVINCE HERSELF AND AN ENTIRE TALK SHOW THAT SHE’S ANOREXIC : Morbidly obese plus plus plus-size “ model “ Tess Holiday, who also goes by her street name Fatty Bloberson, appeared on the Tamron Hall talk show and told a tall and wide tale about being diagnosed with anorexia. The show host and crowd went along with this total denial of reality and hosted this obvious mental patient and her mental illness for their wonder and entertainment.
NEWSFLASH! FEMINISTS BETRAY TO RUN BACK INTO THE KITCHEN AMID FEARS OF WORLD WAR 3 :
Many blue-haired feminists have been showing off their phoniness by posting on Twitter saying that if WWIII starts, their place is “ in the kitchen “. First off, most of you will have to learn how to do two important things : Cook delicious food and SUCK GOOD DICK!! Prove Your Worth, you useless stuck-up feminist cunts! And the same goes for every single Male Feminist faggot – you’re all a bunch of cuckold pussies and – into the wood-chipper you go!
KMBP TRUE CRIME EXPOSE’!
Was Bob Saget MURDERED?? His whole face and skull was caved-in like a caved-in cave. His wife didn’t love him and he knew it. Things were very weird on her podcast right before he died…and why does she and his family want all of the details sealed? What are these vultures hiding? Is this like some Bob Crane-type shit where he was cheating on his wife with some hanger-on dude who was secretly in love with him and smashed his head into a bloody mess while he was asleep?
THIS WEEK’S RICH ELITE DOUCHEBAG PROPAGANDA BOOTLICKER AWARDS GOES TO :
Stephen Colbert yet again shows how much of a rich elite corporate dicklicker that he really is by looking down his stupid nose at the rest of us unworthy peasants and saying “ he has no problem paying $15 dollars a gallon for gas because he owns a TESLA “. Wow, so you drive an electric car and that means you’re somehow better than the rest of us unwashed masses – Hey, fuckhead – you DO know where electric cars get their electric energy from, right? It comes from GAS, YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!!!!!
Into the wood-chipper with this piece of shit asshole – he can’t PROVE HIS WORTH!
WE’RE GONNA CIRCLE BACK JEN ZSAKI-STYLE :
Speaking of feminists who are clamoring to get back into the kitchen, yesterday, March 8th, was this thing called “ International Women’s Day “. I did my part to celebrate the women of the world and as a proud member of the patriarchy, I farted super loud in front of a wamyn and then I coaxed her to give me a nice slippery, splattery, spit-covered BLOW JOB. Then I forced her by gunpoint to make me a ham sandwich….which I proceeded to eat in the bathroom while sitting on the toilet with the door open. THANKS, BITCHES!!!!
THE “ WOKE “ AGENDA IS STILL CREEPING FORWARD INTO YOUR PHONE :
We are approaching peak Clown World and vomit-inducing brainwashing propaganda with the latest horseshit that you’ll be seeing in your phone’s texts : the Pregnant Man emoji!
IN A SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT, IT’S STARTING TO LOOK LIKE STOCKHOLDERS AND INVESTORS IN BIG PHARMA PREFER TO MAKE “ PROFITS “ INSTEAD OF NOT MAKING MORE MONEY :
In a stunning upset and a shocking revelation made just yesterday, the world’s most trusted news source CNN reports that “ To fend off another wave of COVID-19, people will need a fourth dose of the vaccine, Pfizer CEO Albert Bourla says “. Mr. Albert Bourla, who also goes by his gangsta rap name Dr. Dieter Mengele, said in an intercepted text to Dr. Anthony Fauci, and I quote – “ Just hang back, lil’ dude. I’m bout ta jab ALL these muthafuckas n’ make a shitton of cash, my neighboh! “
“ WHAT’S IN THE BAG? “ SEGMENT :
KMBP LOCAL NEWS SEGMENT : Local woman who has had intimate “ relations “ with KMBP host Davey Johns admitted this week that she has NEVER eaten a McDonald’s Filet O’ Fish sandwich. In yet another stunning upset to this country and the world, local human female Rocky Laurawood had to come clean and confess that she has never, quote – “ bitten into the pillowy of heaven “ that IS the filet o’ fish sandwich from the fast food giant.