KMBP Season 2, Episode 17 : ” We’re takin’ back the RAINBOW! ”

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GAYS : Thank you Gays, for keeping the rainbow relevant and hip…but the time has come for us to claim what is rightfully ours…WE ARE TAKING THE RAINBOW BACK, BABY!!  

We’re taking back the rainbow and there’s not a goddamned thing you can do about it.

You co-opted the innocent rainbow and then straight-up stole it from the leprechauns and The Muppets to use as your political tool to harass the heterosexual community, Republicans, Christians, and anyone who just wants to drive down 9 Mile & Woodward Avenue in Ferndale, Michigan. We here at KMBP are tired of this harassment, and we are hereby taking the rainbow back and to use it for our OWN promotional purposes. Stand aside, Gays – it’s OUR TIME NOW!

We paid Philip here $17.32 to wear our new KMBP ” Rainbow ” T-shirt. You can buy it here on this website and show your pride the REAL WAY.
Keep yourself safe during the Chinese Flu season and also help promote our podcast. Be sure to use mouthwash before wearing this so your own dick breath doesn’t kill you.

But fear not, homos….we at the Kiss My Boner Podcast are not without feelings, we are giving you CAMO and Red Flannel! That’s a fair trade, right? We fly the rainbow the correct way from now on, and you can all look like hot Army dudes and northern Michigan hunters! I think this is exactly what the early settlers meant when they broke bread with the American Indians : the art of COMPROMISE.

This hot dude is absolutely ROCKING the Camo….hey sailor, you wanna go to war in my bed? ( wait, did I just type that? )
These happy burly gay bears are totally stoked that they’ve been given Red Flannel…they don’t even MISS the rainbow!

Michigan Guv’Nor Gretchen Whitmer shut down all the bars and tried to cancel Thanksgiving because of Chinese Flu. I wouldn’t care that much, but how the fuck am I gonna get my PHO SOUP?? You can’t get that shit to go, son.

Stretchin’ Titmer shut down all the bars in Ferndale, Michigan….and now all of the hipster dudes are gonna have to bang each other at home. NOT COOL.
The only thing that’ll make this picture of complete civil disobedience more offending would be a swastika or a cross with Jesus nailed to it. And we ALL know that Jesus was a white supremacist, right?


  1. WHAT IS THE GAYEST LYRIC IN A SONG? Answer : That’s simple. It’s from the song ” Rough Boys ” by The Who’s Pete Townshend. Here it is :

Rough boys

Don’t walk away

I very nearly missed you

Tough boys

Come over here

I wanna bite and kiss you

I wanna BITE AND KISS YOU????? Not only did Pete wanna write songs about teenage boys, he obviously wanted to ENTER THEM as well. As disturbing as this is, I still think The Who is an awesome band. You can’t take that away from me, Pete!

Pete Townshend. Legendary songwriter/guitarist for The Who AND a man who enjoyed hanging out in pool halls so he could be closer to rough young men. But hey, do you blame him?

2. WHAT IS THE GAYEST ROCK VIDEO? Answer : Well, that’s actually a double – there are actually two gayest rock videos. The first one, by far, is Mick Jagger & David Bowie’s ” Dancing In The Street ” originally done by Martha and The Vandellas. This 1985 video is literally the antidote for wet vaginas and gayer than drinking a gallon of cum.

Mick Jagger’s mouth is what the gays call a ” Cock Vacuum “. David Bowie trying to figure out how to insert his entire face into Mick’s lips and….wait….what’s that thing in the middle??

The second gayest rock video is Billy Squire’s ” Rock Me Tonight “. This video was so fucking gay that it RUINED his career forever. Why he decided to crawl on the floor and dance like a total fairy is beyond me, but let’s just say having cocaine blown up your asshole must’ve been hella good in the 80’s.

Billy just shot a huge load all over his own stomach and face. It looks like fun, but why trash an entire career for it?
This cartoon is simply called, ” EAT THE GROCERIES “. You figure it out, genius.

Before all this SJW/COVID/TRUMP/BIDEN/NAZI/BLM nonsense would fill every moment of every day, remember when the worst you could piss someone off on the internet was to delete them from your Top 8 on MySpace?? That was a simpler time. We miss it.

Looking at this Top 8 from the classic 2004 view of MySpace gives me a warm and good feeling. Sort of like eating some ice cream or putting your finger in a girl for the first time.

Tom from MySpace had the right idea : cash out before they catch you fucking the secretary, move to another country, and spend your life surfing. He didn’t become a democrat shill like that lying jew Zuckerburg, or a fake hipster like Jack from Twitter…Tom seemed like he would be kinda chill to hang out with. Maybe a tad of a date-rape vibe, but at least he wouldn’t get you fired from your job for admitting that you like Trump. I miss Tom. I hope he’s doing okay in these crazy, trying times.

Covid? What the fuck is that? I got some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and a couple of blonde whores coming over!

Well, that’s this week’s episode wrap-up. Be sure to go to the KMBP YouTube channel every Wednesday at 8pm to see our weekly Live show! Call in and start a fight with us. We wanna connect with you.

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