KMBP Season 2, Episode 17 : ” We’re takin’ back the RAINBOW! ”
AN OPEN LETTER TO THE GAYS : Thank you Gays, for keeping the rainbow relevant and hip…but the time has come for us to claim what is rightfully ours…WE ARE TAKING THE RAINBOW BACK, BABY!!
You co-opted the innocent rainbow and then straight-up stole it from the leprechauns and The Muppets to use as your political tool to harass the heterosexual community, Republicans, Christians, and anyone who just wants to drive down 9 Mile & Woodward Avenue in Ferndale, Michigan. We here at KMBP are tired of this harassment, and we are hereby taking the rainbow back and to use it for our OWN promotional purposes. Stand aside, Gays – it’s OUR TIME NOW!
But fear not, homos….we at the Kiss My Boner Podcast are not without feelings, we are giving you CAMO and Red Flannel! That’s a fair trade, right? We fly the rainbow the correct way from now on, and you can all look like hot Army dudes and northern Michigan hunters! I think this is exactly what the early settlers meant when they broke bread with the American Indians : the art of COMPROMISE.
Michigan Guv’Nor Gretchen Whitmer shut down all the bars and tried to cancel Thanksgiving because of Chinese Flu. I wouldn’t care that much, but how the fuck am I gonna get my PHO SOUP?? You can’t get that shit to go, son.
KMBP QUESTIONS :
- WHAT IS THE GAYEST LYRIC IN A SONG? Answer : That’s simple. It’s from the song ” Rough Boys ” by The Who’s Pete Townshend. Here it is :
Don’t walk away
I very nearly missed you
Come over here
I wanna bite and kiss you
I wanna BITE AND KISS YOU????? Not only did Pete wanna write songs about teenage boys, he obviously wanted to ENTER THEM as well. As disturbing as this is, I still think The Who is an awesome band. You can’t take that away from me, Pete!
2. WHAT IS THE GAYEST ROCK VIDEO? Answer : Well, that’s actually a double – there are actually two gayest rock videos. The first one, by far, is Mick Jagger & David Bowie’s ” Dancing In The Street ” originally done by Martha and The Vandellas. This 1985 video is literally the antidote for wet vaginas and gayer than drinking a gallon of cum.
The second gayest rock video is Billy Squire’s ” Rock Me Tonight “. This video was so fucking gay that it RUINED his career forever. Why he decided to crawl on the floor and dance like a total fairy is beyond me, but let’s just say having cocaine blown up your asshole must’ve been hella good in the 80’s.
Before all this SJW/COVID/TRUMP/BIDEN/NAZI/BLM nonsense would fill every moment of every day, remember when the worst you could piss someone off on the internet was to delete them from your Top 8 on MySpace?? That was a simpler time. We miss it.
Tom from MySpace had the right idea : cash out before they catch you fucking the secretary, move to another country, and spend your life surfing. He didn’t become a democrat shill like that lying jew Zuckerburg, or a fake hipster like Jack from Twitter…Tom seemed like he would be kinda chill to hang out with. Maybe a tad of a date-rape vibe, but at least he wouldn’t get you fired from your job for admitting that you like Trump. I miss Tom. I hope he’s doing okay in these crazy, trying times.
Well, that’s this week’s episode wrap-up. Be sure to go to the KMBP YouTube channel every Wednesday at 8pm to see our weekly Live show! Call in and start a fight with us. We wanna connect with you.