FUCK TWITTER. FUCK FACEBOOK. FUCK ALL SOCIAL MEDIA.

It’s time to leave it all behind.

It’s time to get your Revenge ON The Nerds and leave the over-reaching clutches of Twitter and Facebook once and for all. Yeah, they used to be good to rant about politics, try to get laid, share your music interests, see what the people you went to high school with are doing and who died recently, but that time is over and you need to make a decision : LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND.

I left Facebook after being very active on that platform for over 10 years. After MySpace ( remember MySpace? Seems to innocent and quaint now… ) took a running shit and decimated themselves, I migrated over to the new site everyone was talking about and made a half-hearted account in 2007. I started really posting and taking it seriously in 2009 and gave Mark Zuckerjew ALL of my personal information, photos, locations, business transactions, music choices, and even romantic endeavors and he went ahead and used all of it to become a billionaire. Was he wrong to do that? No. Was I stupid to give him all of my info? You bet your Aunt Connie’s pussy hairs I was.

MySpace Tom was kind of a rad dude who didn’t scold you for your politics and didn’t tell you what to do. You could also add lots of bling and music to your own page, too! Did we judge Tom too harshly? Come back, Tom, come back!

Y’see, the main problem that we’re currently at with social media is that they’re simply NOT KEEPING UP THEIR END OF THE BARGAIN. It’s a give and take situation : I give them loads and loads of useful data and they in turn help me reach my audience ( friends, family, customers ). It would be fine if they just kept up their end of the bargain, but they didn’t. Facebook changed their algorithms and then, if you had a business profile, shook you down for money to actually reach the people that you cultivated. That’s right…you have to pay to have Facebook do what it’s supposed to do. Way to double-dip, Mark!

This is an exact rendering of the year of our lord Mark Zuckerjew 2020, by the artist Ben Garrison. Who, by the way, just got himself banned from Twitter & Facebook. See a pattern yet?

Over time, it also became apparent that Facebook was censoring your posts, monitoring your Messenger e-mails, and putting you in ” Facebook Jail ” by suspending your account for days, weeks, and even months. I myself got banned from Facebook for 30 days for calling someone a ” faggot “. What can I say? He was totally being a faggot.

Look at this smug, entitled faggot nerd’s face. He looks like every hipster asshole who hangs out on 9 Mile & Woodward Avenue in Ferndale, Michigan. Wouldn’t you love to just brush his teeth with a fucking BRICK?

Twitter is even worse. Tweets are removed for containing ” hate speech ” or somehow inciting violence if it’s from the wrong political party, and people are being kicked off in the thousands anytime they go against Twitter’s terms and conditions. Kinda sorta like being ” Unpersoned ” in the novel 1984, yes?

Zuckerjew & Jack both looking at you 24/7, while you hide in the corner writing something vaguely positive about Donald Trump. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, so lie back and submit, you lowly tax animal!

Our solution is this : Leave it all behind. What are you really missing, anyway? Your average person doesn’t have a million followers and now it’s apparent that they won’t have a voice, either. What good is having social media if you can’t be social and express yourself? It’s bad enough if you say anything that veers away from the establishment bubble and risk being attacked by your peer group, but now Mark & Jack are fucking with you too?? You might even be at risk of losing your job or worse, being thrown in jail. I know…you’re thinking, ” That’s ridiculous, that’ll never happen. ” REALLY? Back in February 2020 did you think the government would keep you locked indoors for a WHOLE FUCKING YEAR? Ask your favorite band why they’re not on tour right now and why they won’t be anytime soon. I’ll wait for the answer. Is your favorite bar open? No? Interesting.

TRIUMPH OF THE SWILL : Jack is gonna tell everyone what they can say, who is allowed to say it, who to vote for, what to buy, and who else can do business. I say, lick my balls. I deleted my Twitter years ago, so fuck yourself, Jackoff.

The point is that we gotta all take care of business and do our own things. I say, take it back to 1997 and host your own website and blog again. You can write, post, and rant whatever you want and there’s no one – especially a creepy-looking control freak hipster fuck named Jack – to kick you off and take away your identity. You make your own empire. Is it 100% censor-proof? No, but it’s a helluva lot better that this pickle jar they’ve thrown everyone in, and you can be your own boss. I gotta admit, I’ve had this fantasy that everyone whose ever been removed from social media ( on the Right and on the Left like say, Alex Jones next to Ryan Adams ) go to the deserted remains of MySpace.com and completely take it over. That would be so fucking funny and pretty goddamned awesome to see that site become a haven for the unwashed, unrepentant, and morally tarnished….a LEADER OF THE BANNED, if you will!

Ahhhh, 1997. It was a simpler time when hypertext and <image> tags were kinda safe and innocent. Plus, porn was totally free for a while.

In the meantime, we’re taking a play from our own playbook and hosting this website to shit-post, troll, make interesting points, and of course, sell merch. If you wanna make kmbp.net your new social media, be our guest and comment. You can even insult us, if you like. My name is not Mark, and it definitely isn’t Jack. Come over Red Rover, let KMBP take over.


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